It is September and work begins… mornings are rough! I am so tired, and I try to go to bed early but it does not help. I feel drained when I go into work and I cannot control it. I get moody and depressed for no reason. I stare at the blank page when I am writing my first paper for the semester. Tears stream down my face. I feel worthless. What is happening to me? I do not know what to write. I feel numb to the world, like an insignificant particle floating in the Earth. I am crying because I am crying. Upset at my upset when I should be smiling at the mere fact that I am alive. My hands type some words I am certain would get me an F, but it is the best I can do and I am happy that I was even able to complete it. At work I feel aimless trying my best to hide the pain and anguish. The smiling faces of the children brighten up my days but seeing the young child with cancer makes me feel ashamed of the hurt I feel. She is tiny yet strong, facing chemo and God knows what else, I would take all the strife if it meant she did not have to suffer anymore. My birthday arrives, September 28, 2009, my endocrine visit states my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was in fact low and hence Dr. Barandes increased my levothyroxine dosage to 137mg, a thyroid sonogram determines everything looks good (no pesky nodules in sight, thank God!). My sister and boyfriend, although mostly my sister, who loves to plan parties, (I admire her resilience), set up a beautiful surprise party and all of my family and friends attended. I was so happy and know I could not have asked for more.